Normal names aren’t good enough for celebrities anymore

Nowadays a celebrity can’t seem to pick a normal name for their baby. Their offspring are often stars before they are even born. Jessica Simpson has recently given birth to her daughter Maxwell Drew Johnson. The name Maxwell is usually associated with being a boy’s name. Beyonce also recently gave birth to a baby girl called Blue Ivy. Seems that celebrities can’t just call their children Lucy or Ben. Instead they have to name them something that will make them stand out.

Do these celebrities not think of the consequences of naming their children these wacky names? They have to live with them as they grow up, for example Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter is called Apple. Imagine when she grows up and has to apply for a job or gets married and says her name is Apple. It’s just cruel naming your child something stupid like that. There aren’t even any ways of shortening many of these names.

Bob Geldof has spoken this week about his grandson being given the name Astala Dylan Willow Cohen-Geldof. He claims that the name is weird and that he has begged Peaches and her fiancee Thomas Cohen to change it. This coming from the same man whose three daughters are named Fifi Trixibelle (29), Peaches Honeyblossom (23) and Little Pixie (21). Even his adopted daughter has an unusual name – Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence-Geldof (Yates’ daughter with Michael Hutchence). Maybe he should look at what he named his kids before passing judgment on his daughter

There are many other celebrities who have named their children weird things. These include:

  1. Hopper – Sean Penn & Robin Wright
  2. Sage Moonblood – Sylvester Stallone
  3. Blue Angel – U2’s The Edge and Aislinn O’Sullivan
  4. Zola Ivy – Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell
  5. Seven Sirus – Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu
  6. Satchel – Spike Lee & Tonya Lewis Lee
  7. Kal-El – Nicholas Cage
  8. Jermajesty – Jermaine Jackson
  9. Kyd – David Duchovny and Tea Leoni
  10. Diva Muffin – Frank Zappa
Seems to me that when these parents name their children they name them these weird and wacky names they think the name is cool. Most of the time it’s only cool to them and ridiculous to us mere mortals who don’t have the privilege of being a celebrity. Although us mere mortals aren’t innocent in naming our children weird names such as La-a (pronounced La-dash-a). Some countries have even given parents guidelines on what they can name their child and even gone so far as banning some names. In New Zealand included in the list of banned names are Baron, Bishop, Duke, General, Judge, Justice, King, Knight and Mr. In Sweden a boy was originally named Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, pronounced Albin which was banned. Also in New Zealand a girl who was christened Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii had her name changed when she was aged 9 and her parents actually lost of custody of her.
Although I like both traditional names such as Lucy and slightly different names such as Freya, there is a line between different and just plain weird. The traditional names like Lucy, Oliver, Jack never go out of style. Most of these children are given names because they are popular at the time or they are stylish. This novelty soon wears off. I’d rather choose a name because it’s simple rather chose a name and have my child be ridiculed. Just think of the children please.


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